The most popular brand in sports gaming is
simulating the entire 2012-2013 season. The results have been questionable to
say the least.
By Tyler Piccotti
Since I was a young lad growing up in the humble town of Taylor, Pennsylvania, I’ve been playing NHL video games. It all started with Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey on the Nintendo 64. This was my introduction to virtual hockey. I can remember the cartoonish graphics and the blinking rainbow-colored puck gliding across my television screen. I thought I had found hockey nirvana.
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| A look at NHL 99 (Photo Courtesy of Brent-Thomas.com) |
EA Sports changed
all of that.
Starting with NHL 99, I realized I had been missing oh
so much. There were actually five skaters per team. Fights looked realistic.
The puck was a normal black color. The game’s intro made one want to go lace up
skates and hit someone. The soundtrack was awesome. It was the total package.
The games and
gaming systems got better and better as the years wore on. AHL teams were added
to the lineup. The graphics became more realistic. “Be a Pro” mode let the
gamer control his or her own NHL destiny.
You get my point.
This is why I was
excited when I found out that ESPN and EA were teaming up to simulate the locked
out season. After all, EA had provided me with years of incredible realism. I
had every reason to trust this simulation, and I was curious to see how this
season would have played out (supposedly).
After nine weeks,
however, I am shaking my head.
Now, I’m not saying
I am the biggest expert in the world of hockey. However, I’ve watched enough of
it over the years to consider myself well-educated. It is for this reason that
I am declaring EA’s simulation a complete joke.
Why? Well, let’s
look at the evidence.
We’ll start in the
Eastern Conference. The two teams atop the East are… the Capitals and
Islanders.
No, that’s not a
typo. I said the Islanders.
I know John Tavares
is already a stud, and the team has some underrated weapons in Matt Moulson and
Kyle Okposo…but second in the conference? No way. Washington is out of place at
the head of the pack as well. Ovechkin struggled to score goals last season,
and the Caps barely squeaked into the playoffs. Speaking of the Islanders, the
rest of their Atlantic Division foes are out of the playoffs. That’s right: no
Penguins, Devils, Flyers, or Rangers in the top eight.
Meanwhile, the
Western Conference looks a little screwed up as well. Both the Stars and Blue
Jackets would be playoff bound as of now. Even more egregious is the fact that
the Red Wings sit in last place… LAST PLACE! I could never have conceived such
a notion, yet I’m supposed to believe this simulation? I don’t think so.
The individual
stats are also pretty shocking. Patrick Marleau is on pace to score over 60
goals. His former teammate, Evgeni Nabokov, already has seven shutouts for New
York. Meanwhile, the league’s GAA leader is… AHL/NHL yo-yo Braden Holtby.
I’m going to stop
there.
Of course, one
could argue it’s easy to look at simulated virtual hockey and complain about
it. It’s not real after all. Well, I don’t care. This is THE #1 name in sports
gaming. The experts at EA should have the formula for ranking teams and players
down to a science. Seeing the results of this simulation makes me believe I’ve
been duped all these years.
I’m hoping this is
just a fluke. Otherwise, the love I have had for hockey games may end up in
pieces. Much like the lockout, that would be a downright tragedy.
